Nathaniel - Gift of God

We started off this new year very differently than we would have desired, but we've found that in the midst of hard times God's grace has truly been sufficient. For most who would be reading this blog, you probably got our christmas letter announcing an upcoming birth in June. However the LORD has seen fit to end that pregnancy. God gave us a little gift who lived in my womb for 15 weeks, but God has taken him home. We decided, after seeing the baby, to have him buried. I wanted to share some of the thoughts that I shared at his little graveside service.

January 11, 2010

"I’m glad that you’re all here to support us today in this burial. I know that it is a little unusual to bury one so little. But after seeing him we decided that this was something that we wanted to do.

A week and a half ago, when I passed the baby, it was a very hard time. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but at that moment, while it was overwhelmingly sad, there was a bit of God’s wonder in it too. I think I was expecting tissue and blood, but that is not at all what we beheld. For as we saw the baby that passed through, he was exactly that, a beautiful baby boy. And while his features were small, he was perfectly formed. We admired him through our tears and saw that he had hands with fingers, which were holding his face. He had eyes and a nose and a mouth on his face, and ears and long legs and I could even see his tiny ribs. It was a very hard moment, but I’m glad for it, for he was a miracle of God. I only wish I could have held him, but he is now safe in the arms of God. I will trust in that.

We have decided to name him Nathaniel, which means “gift of God”, for he was given to us by God. We don’t know why God decided to take him, but we know that God created him and formed him and knew him and gave him a soul. We believed, that the miscarriage I had last April had created a soul. And out of faith we named him Samuel, feeling that every soul ought to have a name, and now after what we have seen with this pregnancy we are even stronger in our belief that though they were not born, they were indeed living souls created by God for His own glory. And now, trusting in the goodness of God, that He is the defender of the defenseless, and the protector of the innocent, I believe that God has called them home, and that they now know our great God.

The bible says that “God is our refuge and strength”, and God has truly been our strength in this trial. It’s certainly not what we wanted for our son, but we trust in a God who is greater than us, and He has given us peace. And now, I urge you to remember, as I myself have been reminded, that our God who is the giver of life and death has not only created our bodies but also our souls. God has revealed to us in His word that we must repent of our sins and believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior to be saved. Since we do not know the time of our death, be certain today that you are saved. For our God is merciful and forgiving and good."

Nathaniel Thomas

December 30, 2009